Review: Zanna, Don't! (Old Joint Stock Theatre)

Review by Raphael Kohn

⭐️⭐️⭐️

I sometimes wonder what the world would be like if everyone was queer, and nobody was straight and cisgender. Thankfully though, I don’t have to wonder anymore; a musical revival in Birmingham explores that idea for me. Following in the Old Joint Stock’s tradition of platforming and celebrating less well-known musicals and ambitiously presenting them in a small pub theatre, a production of Zanna Don’t! is next in line for this treasured little Birmingham venue. And what’s more, there’s a truly heroic performance going on here… but you’ll need to read on to find out why.

Zanna, Don’t! is a musical which doesn’t really throw many surprises around – almost as if a more conventional queer narrative of a gay person not fitting in at school, surrounded by unfriendly heterosexuals, gets more or less replicated in a sexual mirror image. Our titular Zanna, a fairy matchmaker in an American high school, takes it upon themselves to help their classmates find love – although to the detriment of their own romantic life. To be clear, I’m not calling them a fairy as a homophobic slur – Zanna literally carries a wand and casts spells. And of course, their matchmaking is all wonderfully queer, pairing boy with boy and girl with girl (unfortunately this 2003 musical doesn’t explore the nuances of gender any further).

This homonormativity pervades much of the show and frankly, it’s a joy. Never did I think I’d see a show involving the line ‘what kind of school would this be if the captain of the football team wasn’t in the school musical?’ – but I did, because it’s gags like this that make the highlights of Zanna, Don’t! truly stand out. Ultimately, it’s to make mockery of the stupidity of homophobia, with a ‘conservative’ character’s sentiment that ‘a guy should love a guy, and a girl should love a girl’ mirroring the actual homophobia that stains our society today.

But it gets a bit messy in the rest of the dialogue though. The central idea may be sound enough, of an ‘upside-down’ universe where homosexuality is the norm, but Alexander Dinelaris and Tim Acito’s book itself feels strange and artificial. Aside from the punchy, one-liner gags, there seems to be a lack of believable dialogue, even despite the fantastical setting, which creates quite the challenge for the cast to contend with.

Indeed, through its inconsistent dialogue there seems to be a series of strangely structured character arcs. The first act is almost a series of fantastical, comedic vignettes of homonormative school life, where love is all around. But throughout those vignettes there’s no real development of any stakes-raising plot. Then, after what feels like an hour of set-up, the actual plot tension only comes right before the interval – enough to make you stay for more, but not enough to create a coherent plot. Similarly, the ending of the second act uses a resolution which comes out of nowhere and doesn’t really get explained, feeling more confusing than satisfying.

And strangely enough, for all its sexual fluidity and seemingly proud queer representation, Zanna, Don’t! seems to leave no space for bisexuality in its narrative. According to the writers, it seems that a man who leaves his boyfriend for a woman must be straight, as must a woman who leaves her girlfriend for a man. Treating these characters like this could have been aimed as a commentary on the bisexual exclusion which permeates through the queer community, but it simply doesn’t play like that, which is a shame for this otherwise joyfully queer show.

Thankfully, it’s peppered with poppy, playful, punchy numbers throughout. Tim Acito’s music takes a course from one catchy banger to another, with highlights in the songs ‘Ride ‘Em’ (yep, it’s as sexual as it sounds) and especially in the military themed ‘Be A Man’. It gets a bit eclectic at times, always based in pop, but with some disco (and even a hoedown) thrown in for good measure.

The small space only permits one live musician, onstage musical director Callum Thompson, leaving the rest of the accompaniment unfortunately played through slightly lifeless backing tracks (with some sound cues occasionally coming through at particularly odd volumes). But it’s all choreographed energetically by David Winters, filling the Old Joint Stock with vigour and vibrancy.

In fact, almost everything about this production feels a bit larger-than-life. Director Scott Le Crass amps up the camp to the limit (and beyond), never restraining the silliness of the plot by giving his actors free rein to let any and all moments be as over-the-top as possible, and it’s all the better for it. It’s all staged on a love-heart themed set, decked out in Mean Girls­­-esque pink on Joanne Marshall’s set, all drenched in her similarly rose-tinted lighting. Most intelligently, Marshall’s clever set of rotating screens evokes a number of different settings from a radio studio to a saloon through a swift turn of a set piece.

I said before that a truly heroic performance leads this show, and I meant it. The person of the moment is Jack Gittins, who in a move of utter the-show-must-go-on heroism learnt the lead role of Zanna in less than 48 hours before opening night after the original performer left the production. You’d hardly know it seeing his performance. They’re not only blessed with angelic vocals and effervescently sassy acting, but completed by graceful and sharp dancing abilities, he brings Zanna to life in such style it’s difficult to not be utterly astonished by their achievement.

It's a team effort here though, with a great ensemble of performers who make the most of their individual roles, even if there’s not much for them to really get deep into in Dinelaris and Acito’s book other than not being straight. Sam Brasenell and Oliver White get the most to do in their roles of Kate and Steve, who turn out to be not so gay after all. There’s a bit of drama in Lou Destanque and Adam Makepeace’s characters of Roberta and Mike (Kate and Steve’s former partners), balanced by plenty of humour in Caprice Lane’s Candi, Marcus Collick’s Arvin and Josephina Ortiz Lewis’ Tank.

And so the eventual result is a mixed bag, a strong enough cast being put through their paces in an energetic, larger-than-life show that doesn’t quite manage to explore its ideas or do its themes justice. It’s certainly a fun evening out, showcasing some great talent (and a tremendous achievement from its lead performer) but not really finding a way to make its point. Maybe it’s just a fun musical that’s joyously queer. But maybe there’s more in this show that it could be.

Zanna, Don’t! runs at the Old Joint Stock Theatre until 15th December 2024. Tickets from https://www.oldjointstock.co.uk/whats-on/zanna-dont

Photos by Perro Loco Productions